Tuesday 3 July 2007

Muggings from a 'Mug in' Guadalajara. Oh come on! It nearly works.


A bit of a shaker preceded this blog, but thanks to my awesome mum (Mum's ALWAYS know best) the shake was left in my wake and all things are peachy again! The pic of the day is one of the kids, Samuel, at the oasis project posing with the house of cards I made. Obviously everyone was impressed with my skills. Obviously.

I remembered a joke that I was going to tell you yesterday. It was meant to come in after the nose peeling question. It goes something like this.

Q. What has an Onion and my peeling Nose have in common?
A. They both smell and have loads of layers.

I know some of you wish I never remembered the joke as a small part of you has died inside but for the small few that actually liked that joke your the kind of people I would like to get to know better.

I was watching a program last night called "The Contender 2" (all thanks to the glorious SAP button that transform the dreadful Spanish into the beauty of English) and the boxers were pretty smart. The show had got to the stage when only 8 contenders were left, meaning that they fight each other in a tournament. Winner goes onto the next round, loser goes home. Well, at different points in the show the boxers have one on one interviews with the camera. Its all about showing who is the bigger guy, who was brought up on the 'streets' and which of them deserve to win the competition the most. In these interviews these two quotes came up.

Boxer 1. He actually quoted from the bible. I cant remember word for word but it was something like "He who is picked last, comes first". He actually believed that because he was picked last to go on the teams that he was going to be the one that came up top. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make sense. At all.

Boxer 2. This genius was talking about his childhood, how he has been brought up in a rough family and that he has the classic 'rags to riches' story. He said "In my family I was always fighting with my Father and my Brothers. This wasn't the man I wanted to be when I grew up." Sooooo... what is his profession now? A boxer right? I THINK that classes him as a fighter. But these guys can be excused I guess. Its not like they are using there brains all day. Just there idiots, sorry, fists.

I remembered something that I wanted to brag to you today. You know I was a volunteer at Lincoln school. Well, on the last day Glen, the headteacher, came up to me and gave me an envelope. I thought it was just a thank you type card that all the teachers had written in. I didn't want to open it right there in front of him so I waited till he had left and ripped it open. Inside, staring right up at me, was $1000!! There wasn't even a card to get through before the money, although it would have been nice to get something to remember the staff by. I have been able to make it through the whole 6 weeks without having to get any money out, apart from today - but more on that later, which means I have spent $5000 in 6 weeks. That's only £250! Granted I haven't had to pay for any accommodation, or food, well ... I haven't had to pay for that much at all really but people would easily spend £250 just going to the beach for a week. I now have about £1500 ( $3000 American Dollars) to spend throughout America, which includes getting my sparking new guitar!

I have told you before how weird my dreams have been out here. Well, last night I had a whole load of weird ones! I can only remember two, so those will have to do!

1. I was at Oxted School and I think I was at a school rehearsal. I wasn't in the play but I think I was just going down to see people and wish them luck. All I remember is Miss Catherine Pollock coming up to me and saying Hi, I turned around to talk to someone else and then looked back at Cat after about 10 seconds and she had changed into her costume. I think I just carried on talking to her as normal. Now it doesn't seem as weird as it does this morning - but dreams are like that and don't you just forget them so fast!

2. I was in Oxted again but up near my house. I was on Field Court. I was doing some kind of magic trick and showing it to Richard Layton. It was something like I could pass my fingers straight though my other fingers. It was weird alone. Then I started strangling him. After a bit Patrick Haywood came over, looked down the road and said "Hey look! Its Missy Elliot!". I can remember, even IN my dream, thinking - 'Now that is just ridiculous. WAKE UP NOW PHIL, THIS IS STUPID'. Crazy dreams!!!

I heard some news about the UK. Things are getting pretty Hectic over there arnt they!! So Tony Blair has gone, I half knew about that - I just didn't know when he was going. What shocked me was hearing about all the bombs that are being found in London and Glasgow! I'm amazed that that doesn't make it onto the world news! Actually, saying that ... it probably has. I'm not really a religious watcher of the news out here so I can hardly place judgement. I also hear its raining alot over there. These are crazy times. RAIN in ENGLAND? Crazy. Finally Mr Nelson is the big cheese. Good on him. Is that a permanent thing? Look at all that. I leave England for 1 month and look at the mess it gets itself into. Super Phil needs to make a visit home.

Today was lazy for the start and got slightly more busy towards the end to the grand finale of huge panic. It was another late morning. I am allowing myself to have them now because I don't want to be really tired all the way through the day. I was also able to chat to some of the home crew on the wonder that is MSN. Tom Seller nipple crippled an artist on a major music label. Joshua Radin, last night, felt the wrath of Tom Seller. He is now my hero. Awesome. I wanted to go to the oasis project today so that I could say goodbye to the street kids and the staff that work there. The only way I knew how to get there on bus is to get to the school first, then get another one down town. The walk to school takes 20 mins so I'm pretty sure I made that journey hard on myself. I never really know when and where my meals are coming from so I bough my self a Burger King - Rey de Pollo. Someone else can translate that, if you are man enough. Onwards to the Project. I was travelling around on bus's for at least an hour today and all it cost me was $10, that's about 50p. I'm still amazed at how cheap things are out here.

Whilst I have the chance I will give you a quick briefing on the Mexio bus's.
1. I'm pretty sure you have to be Mexican to wave one down. The number of times I have been standing on the side of the road and stuck my arm out only to have it cruise on past is crazy! They quite obviously see me. They only time they stop when I go to wave one down is when I have a Mexican standing with me.
2. They will shout at you if you try to get off the bus at the front door. You are meant to go to the back of the bus and hit the little buzzer that tells the driver that you are ready to get off. You have to get the timing perfect though, otherwise the bus stops quite a bit before your destination or you miss it completely.
3. There is definitely another point I was going to make... but I have forgotten it.

Eventually, after a solid hour on the bus letting Jason Mraz grace my eardrums, I arrived at the bus and I went on inside. I was just playing with the kids - connect 4 and some crazy game on the roof where everyone gets a basketball and the aim of the game is to inflict the most damage by kicking it at people. A bit like an unorganised dodge ball game. That hurts. - and building houses of cards. It came round to when they were having a meeting and the bus all gathered for that. At the end they gave me a certificate for the help I have been, which I naturally left in the Waymans car when they gave me a lift home. Typical. I was dropped off at Fuente where they were having a prayer service. I went along because I was going to say goodbye to some of the guys there, they even said we might be able to go out for dinner. Didn't happen. Just ended up coming home. Well, that's where the trouble began. I asked G if there was a place we could stop of at so that I could get some money out. He took me to a local ATM and I put in my card. In England, before I came out here, I put all my money in a Nationwide account as they don't charge people abroad, because of this I hadn't used it that much and I had forgotten my pin. Well, I thought I knew it - but I just plain didn't. I tried a couple of times until I got a screen of some crazy Spanish. I tried at another ATM and the same thing happened. I started to panic. If this card has gone wrong I'm in real trouble when I get to America - that's the only thing I can pay on. So with the panic I got really annoyed really quickly! I think I even got annoyed with G and it was clearly not his fault - I will apologise deeply tomorrow. I got home and I called home, it was 5 am - but they did say call whatever time if you need help! Mumsy got on the phone and I asked her to check on my PIN number. I had got it wrong. Well, its done now so I asked her to call the bank and she did so. After a while she called back and said that all I have to do is use the correct pin and it should 'unlock' the card. Simple. I wanted to try it straight away but mum was quite anxious about using it at night what with muggings and all.I ran around to the ATM and saw no-one in sight. I whacked in the card and punched out the correct pin. SUCCESS! I was soooooooo happy! I got some money out so that I could pay the taxi on Thursday and practically skipped out of the ATM room. I turned the corner and sitting at the bottom of some steps was a young guy with his hood up. He wasn't there before. He didn't hear me approach so I turned right around and walked another way. I crossed over the road, walked down a bit and crossed over again. He had started to follow me. I don't know if I was reading to much into this, maybe he was genuinely walking this way, but I didn't like it. As soon as I turned around a corner I girlishly ran all the way to G's. All safe now, didn't see him follow me around. So, its all sorted! I have money again, I spoke to Mum and skillfully avoided a potential mugging. A good day out I think.

Tomorrow is my last day in Mexico and I have absolutely NO plans. Should be fun. I'm going to try and get the team from Lincoln school together again but I don't know if that will work - I tried calling one of them today and no answer. Oh well ... I can try again tomorrow!

Song of the day - Please Don't Tell Her - Jason Mraz

Love always,

[clarke]

p.s. Sorry that ending is a bit weak. It is 12.40 in my defence.

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